The Hello Kitty Jet
I’ve noticed that most people not directly involved with the aviation industry assume that anyone who is (or aspires to be) a professional aviator wants to fly for a major airline. Even military pilots are believed to desire an airline career. The logic behind this assumption has always escaped me. There are certainly many pilots for whom an airline job is the proverbial brass ring, and I say more power to them. Someone has got to fly those things. If it’s what you love, do it. For me, however, when I consider the seniority system, financial instability, surly passengers, tough working conditions, low pay, terminal & gate congestion, unions, strikes, and poor management of most scheduled airlines, it doesn’t hold much appeal. Nevertheless,...
Read MoreWhen I Ruled the World
The topic of computers in my last post reminded me that this month marks the 30 year anniversary of the object which made me a bona fide rock star throughout the world. That’s right, the whole freakin’ world! (Um, it may be worth noting that at nine years of age, my “world” consisted of a three block radius around our house in Studio City.) The year was 1981. I was in fifth grade and an unfortunate part of the desegregation busing experiment of the early 80′s. If you’re not familiar with this, the idea was to force students who lived in good school districts to attend an abysmal institution in the worst part of south-central Los Angeles while the kids from that area were bused each and every day to my neighborhood to attend a...
Read MoreGoodbye, O.C.
Does wishing for the demise of a show set in my home town make me a bad person? I hope not, because I was glad to read this: LOS ANGELES, California (AP) — “The O.C.,” the once-hot teenage soap opera that saw its ratings plummet like a delinquent student’s grades, has been canceled. Based in the affluent Orange County, California, city of Newport Beach, “The O.C.” caught fire in its first season, 2003-04, as the top-rated drama among advertiser-favored young adults and with a total audience of nearly 10 million. “The O.C.” didn’t sustain its momentum, dropping to about 7 million weekly viewers during 2004-05 and then to fewer than 6 million last season. This year, returning in November after Fox wrapped its...
Read MoreThe 40 Year Old Virgin
It’s not just a movie anymore. Vaginal rejuvenation costs thousands of dollars and is done with a laser. It includes a variety of procedures, such as women getting their labia made smaller because it is uncomfortable for them to engage in physical activity or have intercourse, women getting their vaginal canal tightened as it was pre-baby delivery, and other women going one step further by getting their hymen (the gateway to the vaginal canal) tightened. This last procedure can, in a sense, make a woman a virgin again. You’d think this would come from some scurrilous sex-related site, but alas it’s from CNN anchor Anderson Cooper’s “360″ show weblog. I know this kind of thing is common in parts of the world where women who...
Read MoreFoo Fighters Good; Sony Bad
Some of the most relaxing moments of the San Carlos dive trip were had during surface intervals on the boat. A ‘surface interval’ is a period of time spent on the surface in between dives. This time allows the body to naturally rid itself of excess nitrogen accumulated while breathing compressed air at depth. Without an appropriate surface interval, a diver runs the risk of having this nitrogen come out of solution in the blood and form bubbles which can cause pain, vomiting, paralysis, and even death. Anyway, our surface intervals were typically in the 60-90 minute range. We’d use the time to eat lunch, fish, and just relax. Well one day, David put the new Foo Fighters CD, In Your Honor, in the boat’s CD player. It’s a two disc set...
Read MoreHappy Festivus!
Hey, if a random professor can invent a holiday (Kwanzaa), why not Jerry Stiller? Many real people are holding parties celebrating Festivus, a holiday most believe was invented on an episode of “Seinfeld” first broadcast the week before Christmas in 1997. “More and more people are familiar with what Festivus is, and it’s growing,” said Jennifer Galdes, a Chicago restaurant publicist who organized her first Festivus party three years ago. “This year many more people, when they got the invite, responded with, `Will there be an airing of the grievances and feats of strength?’ ” Those two rituals — accusing others of being a disappointment and wrestling — are traditions of Festivus as explained on the show by the...
Read MoreThe Puffy Shirt Lives!
Leave it to Seinfeld to break new ground by inducting a sitcom joke into the Smithsonian. The outlandishly unfashionable shirt worn by Jerry Seinfeld on his hit TV show went on display Friday at the Smithsonian, alongside Kermit the Frog, Archie Bunker’s chair and Dorothy’s magic slippers from “The Wizard of Oz.” At the end of its nine-season run, “Seinfeld” — the “show about nothing” — left lots of well-loved lines but few tangible relics suitable for enshrinement in the National Museum of American History. Thus, The Puffy Shirt, which appeared briefly in a single episode. What makes that bit of wardrobe so memorable is that it serves as an icon, not only of “Seinfeld” but American popular...
Read MoreThe Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Well, it’s official. God has forsaken the civilized world. I know this because I just saw the first Christmas decoration of the 2004 season in a store. On July 7th. To be fair, it was an online store. Specifically Hallmark.com’s free e-card section. But if it’s being done online today, you know it’s only a matter of time before early July becomes the accepted start date for holiday merchandising in the malls. You know the little miniature advertisement you have to watch while your e-card “loads”? This was an ad encouraging the viewer to be the first to get a look at the highly coveted, must-have, don’t-care-that-Christmas-is-as-far-away-as-it-ever-gets freaking keepsake ornaments. The Hallmark marketing guru who...
Read MoreMatthew Lesko
I’m officially ready to cast my vote for the world’s most annoying person. It’s Matthew Lesko. No one else even comes close. He is living proof that you can get rich by annoying people. (If you ask, he’d probably tell you there’s a government grant available for it, too). His voice is annoying. That idiot suit with all the question marks all over it is annoying. His mannerisms, his products, even his web site is annoying. As far as I’m concerned, Janet Jackson can do whatever she wants on TV. Just get rid of Matthew Lesko. I’d rather watch a marathon of Britney Spears videos and Homeboys in Outer Space reruns than be subjected to one of his infomercials....
Read MoreAir America… Radio?
A new radio network with a liberal slant called Air America hit the airwaves today. It’s getting a lot of press — as it should. I wish them all the best. Their marquee host thus far is Al Franken. Not exactly my cup of tea politically, but Al’s certainly funny guy. He’s good enough, he’s smart enough, and I guess we’ll see if people really like him. The most puzzling aspect of this network is the name. Air America was a covert “airline” owned and operated by the CIA in Vietnam. It supported most of their operations there and was so secret that even some of the employees didn’t know who they were working for. John Deakin, a former Air America pilot, has written a bit about flying for “The Company”....
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