The Wild Card Governor

Only a few more hours until the polls open for voters here in California.

Thankfully, the House of Rapp has been under construction for most of the recall campaign period. This has spared you and 300 million of your fellow Americans my thoughts on people like Gray, Cruz, and Arnold.

But since the Age of Web Site Construction is over, indulge me for just a moment, if you will.

Now I know some people feel that this recall is: (choose one)

a) a right wing conspiracy
b) undemocratic
c) unconstitutional
d) turning California into a laughingstock
e) all of the above
f) none of the above
g) Monty Brewster for mayor
h) An augmented sixth chord built upon the flat second degree of the tonic key

… however, I would have to disagree with item “d”.

First of all, who cares what anyone else thinks? I don’t expect the residents of Rhode Island to consider my opinion on their island state before going to the polls, so why should Californians care what someone from Vermont or Iowa thinks? Do we really need them loving this state so much that they rent one of those U-Hauls with the massive watercolor murals of the Rocky Montains painted on it and move here?

More importantly, if I was a resident of (insert any state with a budget deficit of less than $40 billion), I’m fairly certain I would be envious of California’s ability to finally stand up and say “I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna to take it anymore.” I certainly wouldn’t be laughing at a state that saw a $10 billion surplus magically turn into a $40 billion deficit the day the last gubernatorial election ended.

Still, a wee bit of circus every now and then isn’t always a bad thing. With something like 135 candidates on the ballot, you just know there are going to be some gems in there. Yeah, there’s the chick with the big rack. The golf pro. The aspiring comedian. A fellow pilot, Jim Weir, is also on the ballot. There’s even a Green Party candidate.

If it’s sheer whacked out insanity you crave, however, I think I’ve found your man. I found this ad on page A11 of the front section of the Los Angeles Times:

I think it’s very magnanamous of Mr. Busch to offer to share power equally with “great statesman Gray Davis” and “exceptional human being Arnold Schwarzenegger”, especially when one ponders the fact that this guy isn’t even one of the 135 candidates on the ballot.

He’s also the only candidate I’m aware of that’s taken it upon himself to work out a settlement agreement with Osama bin Laden.

In the words of Kenny Banya: it’s gold, Jerry… GOLD!


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