Bachelor Party in Tahoe

The House of Rapp is proud to present the Martha Stewart BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS® recipe for the perfect guys-only weekend:

  • 1 bachelor – skinny, tall, able to eat 274.98 cubic meters of food in one sitting
  • 7 friends – overworked and ready to get the hell outta Dodge
  • 1 large van – Ford – operated at maximum velocity at night on black ice without chains or snow tires
  • 1 friendly lakeside town – elevation 6,500 feet, on California/Nevada border
  • 1 ski resort (largest on the west coast)
  • 1 stack – $20 bills
  • 2 casinos – Caesar’s and Harrah’s brand
  • 2 roulette tables – minimum wager of only $0.50 per spin
  • 200 dollars – winnings
  • 3 days – containing no more than 10 hours of sleep
  • 1 snow storm – containing 20″ of fresh powder and 40 mph winds
  • 1 shoulder – dislocated

Beginning at midnight, mix bachelor and friends in large van for nine hours on essentially no sleep. Gamble the whole next day. Mix with choice of beer and other libations. Carefully place roulette chips onto table until hitting 36-to-1 odds over and over again. Do not strain. Return to casino. Once profit reaches $200, cash out. Sleep five hours, then proceed to Heavenly Resort. Chill to approximately -10º F for six hours in 40 mph wind and driving snow at 10,000 foot summit. Remove snowboarding friend from mountain just before collapse. Add snowstorm and 20″ fresh powder. Place six friends and bachelor in boiling, highly chlorinated water. Add beer until bachelor vomits. After first friend dislocates shoulder, hide all alcohol and call 911. After two hours, remove friend from hospital. Next morning, bachelor/friends mixture should be rubbery. Replace into van and mix for nine more hours. Makes one memorable serving.

Follow

Get the latest posts delivered to your mailbox: